Friday, March 04, 2011

Poets Rally and gratitude

I marvel at the creative writing community online here, and how welcoming and friendly everyone is. Back in my drinking and drugging days, I used to fancy myself a "writer" of sorts. I'd get all smoked up and write these "incredibly profound" pieces, some of which were actually decent, most of which were stoned babblings and rants.

This morning, I sit in one of my favorite haunts, a nice little small town coffee shop with a great post-industrial, eclectic writers vibe, poised to put fingers to keys and create something for this weeks poets rally. A lot has changed with me in the 15+ years since I had my last drink and drug. One of the major changes has come very slowly and has manifested only recently. My desire to write has returned with an amazing amount of energy. I know I've had stuff to say, and I know God gave me the voice to say it. But it took me getting sober, having the courage to blog about it over the past five years, and the kindness of a few bloggers who write creatively, before I could let that voice out. I'm grateful beyond what words could adequately express. Sometimes that gratitude comes across in my pieces, at least I hope it does in one way or another. Last week I was blown away by the fact that 10 folks from our online poetry community think enough of my writing to list me among their favorites. That's a powerful experience for me! Wow!

I thank you all for coming around and for sharing yourselves through your writing! Thank you for welcoming me into this community!



"Integrated"

A person divided cannot proceed without chaos.
That was me, divided, a total loss
until God's Grace struck down my disease
with the fervor of young schoolkids
bursting from school at the long day's release.

The warmth of the truth stole over my heart
as if to say "Scott, we're no longer apart."
HP... now God, Jesus, Holy Spirit comfort me gently
while stripping away the spoiled layers a plenty.

Over the years, I've been so instructed
that I have a mission that won't be neglected.
I must carry this voice (that to me God has given)
to those who like me, stumble in all riven
run through, and throughOut, a life of sin and deceipt.
The pain from which they may lay at the feet.
of their HP, and the folks they will meet.

For God works through us all, and through me I do pray
He might work his miracles that maybe someday
I might find my own way to a life of peace and smiles.
So I might lay back and relax for awhile.

Today I have balance, I'm no longer driven
'tween a life of lies and pain, and a life I was living
inside my mind's eye, that life of fantasy and hope.
Today fantasy is real, and hope is no joke.
I'm one man with a voice, the one you've all helped me to yoke

so I might till fertile fields of love and understanding,
and weed out days of darkness and resentment demanding.

I'm grateful today to be in right mind,
at least most of the time, or well more often than not.
I'm whole and complete. I'm balanced, not riven.
I've God and you to thank. I've made barely a beginning.



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15 comments:

izzy said...

Gratitude can be so overwhelming at times! great post thanks.

Promising Poets Parking Lot said...

sweet sentiments,

lovely expressed...
Happy Rally.
:)

fiveloaf said...

:) love your thoughts and salvationistic life.. that is most important! here's my wk 39.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/regret/

musingbymoonlight.com said...

Scott, this is so touching. Thank you for writing it and sharing it here on your blog. Simply wonderful and profoundly true. Hugs!

JamieDedes

musingbymoonlight.com said...

P.S. - Please check your email for a note from me. Thanks! :-)

JamieDedes

Lolamouse said...

congratulations on your alcohol and drug free life and on finding your writing voice again. I too have found this writing community to be extremely supportive and encouraging-enjoy!

bendedspoon said...

You blessed me...Carry that voice! Carry that voice! Congratulations on your victories to life's challenges! Blessings to you!
:)

Olivia said...

Scott,

Life has its own mysterious way to re- invent us. It did so that to me and to you too!

How you fought with your inner demons has scored you victorious. keep it that way- n I know you will. In tandem with life- force and your will power, writing often re- creates us as well.

The power you are blessed with, is rare and certainly very strong. I feel it.

Keep writing.. You have many of us wanting to read you..

amazingly expressed story in your verses..
Hugs xoxox

abthomas said...

Nicely expressed, its not often that one leaves the life without rued ache tattooed into their thought processes, nice to see an example of one who managed to do so

bridge-of-hope said...

you have fought and defeated your demons.. now sharing this will inspire so many others to do the same with their personal demons... cheers . keep writing .. it will take you through so much and be a comfort to you always.

Syd said...

Nice Scott. It is good to be balanced and know that hope is no joke.

thejuliebook said...

Thanks for your feedback on my rally piece, Scott. I, too, am thrilled to have found such a talented and welcoming a poetry community online!

I enjoyed your entry: the phrase "spoiled layers a plenty" jumped out at me, as did the farming analogy toward the end. Thanks for sharing!

musingbymoonlight.com said...

Hi, Scott!

Stopped by to see if you posted anything else and to let you know you are featured on Dispatch today.
http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2011/03/sunday-rally-dispatch-03062011.html

I love you pup. I didn't know that Jack Russells came with long hair. So cute!

JamieDedes

debi said...

What a beautiful piece of art. I can feel your positiveness. It brightened my day.

real12steprecovery.com said...

Very Nice Work, You do have A gift!
And I too can relate, it has been an old discarded dream to write something of value and beauty, and like you was lost in the haze of drugs and alcohol, been 18+ years of recovery and some inklings of attempting to accomplish some real writing, now truly pursuing.
Keep up your Dream and Gift
May you continue to allow your God, to Love, Guide and Protect you always