Tuesday, January 19, 2010

It's another early morning... I have a lot of early mornings anymore with all these extra work related meetings and things to do. It's a busy job for sure but there's very little stress, me likey!

Kayla has taken to calling me "dad." At first it made me feel good inside but I think it's more of an "attention getter" for her. And, I think she's on the outs with her real dad right now. So, I won't get tooexcited about that lol. She's definitely an attention hound, being almost 16 and not having a strong relationship with her dad or her stepdad or any male in her life. And of course she's boy crazy lol. This has definitely been a pretty amazing couple of months, getting to know her after 13 years apart. Her mom and I split up when she was nearly 3 as the sick relationship was negatively affecting my early sobriety and I promised to stay outta their lives when we split and I have stayed away... (for those of you playing the home game and have no idea who Kayla is.)

Our "relationship" consists of daily text messages and a few phone calls and a couple visits during the holidays. So, it's hard to know f I am getting the straight poop all the time and it's hard to develop a closeness. She tells me alot about herself when we do chat/text and we've talked through a lot of stuff and she seems to listen from what I can tell but it's hard. It's the epitome of a day at a time and a lack of any sort of control on my part. So, it's really a good bit of exercise for my "al-anon chops." I don't spend time worrying or fretting and I don't really play her games so, thus far it's been a decent ride. I know she'll hurt me, lol it's what they do at that age. But, I am grateful to have her in my life as much as she is. It's fragile right now, but I will take what I get.

Heavenly Father,I come to You this morning and lay this day at Your feet. I ask Your blessing on the people of Haiti and their "rescuers." I thank You for the incredible blessings in my life and I ask that You continue to remove my addictive obsessions and compulsions today. Please bless my marriage, my family and friends. Help me be a good dad and husband today. I pray that I may know Your Will for me today and have to courage and faith to walk towards Your light.

peace to you all...


dAAve said...

Just keep on trudgin' Scott.

Syd said...

I think that you have every opportunity to be a great influence in her life. To not fret or worry is good.