Tuesday, January 19, 2010

It's another early morning... I have a lot of early mornings anymore with all these extra work related meetings and things to do. It's a busy job for sure but there's very little stress, me likey!

Kayla has taken to calling me "dad." At first it made me feel good inside but I think it's more of an "attention getter" for her. And, I think she's on the outs with her real dad right now. So, I won't get tooexcited about that lol. She's definitely an attention hound, being almost 16 and not having a strong relationship with her dad or her stepdad or any male in her life. And of course she's boy crazy lol. This has definitely been a pretty amazing couple of months, getting to know her after 13 years apart. Her mom and I split up when she was nearly 3 as the sick relationship was negatively affecting my early sobriety and I promised to stay outta their lives when we split and I have stayed away... (for those of you playing the home game and have no idea who Kayla is.)

Our "relationship" consists of daily text messages and a few phone calls and a couple visits during the holidays. So, it's hard to know f I am getting the straight poop all the time and it's hard to develop a closeness. She tells me alot about herself when we do chat/text and we've talked through a lot of stuff and she seems to listen from what I can tell but it's hard. It's the epitome of a day at a time and a lack of any sort of control on my part. So, it's really a good bit of exercise for my "al-anon chops." I don't spend time worrying or fretting and I don't really play her games so, thus far it's been a decent ride. I know she'll hurt me, lol it's what they do at that age. But, I am grateful to have her in my life as much as she is. It's fragile right now, but I will take what I get.

Heavenly Father,I come to You this morning and lay this day at Your feet. I ask Your blessing on the people of Haiti and their "rescuers." I thank You for the incredible blessings in my life and I ask that You continue to remove my addictive obsessions and compulsions today. Please bless my marriage, my family and friends. Help me be a good dad and husband today. I pray that I may know Your Will for me today and have to courage and faith to walk towards Your light.

peace to you all...

2 comments:

dAAve said...

Just keep on trudgin' Scott.

Syd said...

I think that you have every opportunity to be a great influence in her life. To not fret or worry is good.